Is Masturbation Bad? | A Sex Therapist & Coach Chimes In
Hey there, shameless squad! Grab your favorite cozy blanket and brew yourself a cup of tea because today we're diving deep into a topic that's as natural as breathing – masturbation. Yes, you read that right! We're going to unravel the wonders of self-love, self-care, and how embracing your sexual self can contribute to a healthier, happier you. So, sit back, relax, and let's embark on this journey of self-discovery.
Key Points
Masturbation is not “bad” those who think it is need to do some pleasurework and stop this shameful sex negative thought
It is the safest, most common, form of sex
There are many ways to masturbate, you get to decide which ones are best for you!
Fun Facts About Sex & Masturbation
There are videos and sonograms of babies masturbating in the womb and experiencing orgasm when the parent carrying the baby does
It has been reported in research that children masturbate as early as age three
According to one study done by TISSOT, Rush, Gram, & Kellog, women who masturbate have higher relationship satisfaction and men who masturbate have higher life expectancy
One research study that I found talked about there is no one right way to masturbate. There are multiple position techniques and several ways to orgasm, and there is more than one sex toy and lube to use
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What is Masturbation?
Masturbation: A Date with Your Body!
Picture this: a date night, just you and your body. The candles are lit, soft music is playing in the background, and you're about to indulge in the ultimate act of self-love – masturbation. For some, it's about exploring the wonders of their genitals, and for others, it's a holistic experience that involves the entire body as an erogenous zone. Let's break the stigma and embrace the truth – masturbation is a beautiful journey of self-discovery, a sensual exploration that goes beyond societal taboos.
To truly elevate your solo sexual self-care experience, consider touching different areas of your body, not just the genitals. Every inch of your body can be an erogenous zone waiting to be explored. Let your hands wander, indulge in the pleasure of touch, and savor the sensation that courses through your entire being. It's not just an act; it's a celebration of self.
Ways to Masturbate: A Plethora of Pleasure
There are numerous ways to embark on this journey of self-discovery. Whether you're flying solo, side by side with a partner or partners, incorporating lube, or diving into the world of sex toys, the possibilities are as diverse as your desires. Here are some ways to explore the realm of self-pleasure:
Solo Masturbation: The classic solo experience – take the time to connect with yourself, embrace your desires, and revel in the pleasure of your own touch.
Partnered Masturbation: Spice things up by exploring self-love side by side with a partner or partners. It's an intimate experience that fosters connection and understanding of each other's desires.
Use of Lubrication: Elevate your pleasure with the use of lube. It enhances sensations, reduces friction, and ensures a smoother, more enjoyable experience.
Music as a Companion: Set the mood with your favorite tunes. The rhythmic beats can sync with the pace of your exploration, turning the experience into a sensual dance with your own body.
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall: Engage in self-discovery by looking at yourself in a mirror while masturbating. It adds a visual element to the experience, allowing you to witness your own sensuality.
Sex Toys Galore: Experiment with various sex toys designed for different pleasure points. From penis and clitoral toys to anal and vaginal toys, the options are endless.
Double or Triple Penetration Toys: For vulva owners, explore the pleasure of double or triple penetration toys. It's a journey into heightened sensations and exploration of diverse erogenous zones.
Cock Rings and Anal Toys: Penis owners, indulge in the pleasure of a cock ring combined with an anal toy for double penetration. It's a pathway to new dimensions of pleasure.
Benefits of Masturbating: More Than Just Pleasure
Masturbation is not just about immediate pleasure; it comes with a plethora of benefits that contribute to your overall well-being. Let's explore the positive side effects of this natural and healthy act:
Improves Sleep: Have you ever had trouble falling asleep? Masturbation can be a natural remedy. The release of endorphins and oxytocin during climax can induce a sense of relaxation, making it easier to drift into a peaceful slumber.
Enhances Mood: Happy brain chemicals, such as dopamine and serotonin, flood your system during and after masturbation. This surge in feel-good neurotransmitters contributes to an overall improved mood.
Sensual Body Connectedness: Masturbation is not just a physical act; it's a journey of self-connection. It allows you to explore your body, understand your desires, and foster a deeper connection with your own sensuality.
Statistics on Masturbation: Breaking the Myths
Let's debunk the myths and dive into the real numbers when it comes to masturbation. Research, including studies published in highly respected journals like JAMA, has shed light on the prevalence of masturbation across different age groups.
Among adolescents aged 14–17 years in the United States, around 74 percent of males and 48 percent of females engage in masturbation. When it comes to older adults, roughly 63 percent of men and 32 percent of women between 57 and 64 years of age indulge in self-love.
Susan Quilliam's research, as published in the book "Women on Sex," revealed that 4 out of 5 women masturbate regularly. A 2016 study by Indiana University found that 3 out of 4 women aged 25–29 and 1 in 2 girls aged 14–17 reported engaging in masturbation. However, it's essential to acknowledge the lack of research on masturbation that considers the existence of transgender or non-binary individuals.
How to Last Longer in Bed: A Myth Unraveled
Now, let's address a common concern – how to last longer in bed. While many may seek tricks or techniques, the truth is that there's no standard duration for sexual activities. Every individual and every encounter is unique. Masturbation can help with lasting longer in bed. As a sex therapist and intimacy coach, I will tell clients this exercise in order to control orgasm or cumming too fast. There are different methods and tools in sex therapy and coaching that help individuals to last longer in bed. A lot of times, this comes up with sexual performance anxiety, fears, sex negative beliefs, ruminations, and worrying about how sex will go with partner(s) and/or spouse. Worrying about lasting longer in bed is the first problem that needs to be fixed. Mindset is key! If you believe you won’t be able to have longer sex, or only quickie sex that lasts 2-3 minutes, then chances are you won’t. Sexual health and mental health tie together. We have to be able to work on our limiting beliefs, sex negative beliefs, and flip this script of these shaming messages, myths, or scripts we have told ourselves or others have too. Let go of timing! Rather than focusing on a predetermined timeframe, it's crucial to prioritize communication, consent, and mutual satisfaction. Openly discussing desires, boundaries, and preferences with your partner(s) creates a foundation for a sexually healthy relationship.
Is Masturbation Harmful or Too Much Of It A Bad Thing?
If you had a pleasurable, happy, and enjoyable experience masturbating solo, then no. If you are experiencing guilt, shame, depression, anxiety, fears, or worries after masturbating, then yes. This can be harmful symptoms after masturbating. Again, this goes back to mindset, your beliefs, and your experience with your body. Thoughts, feelings, sensations, and beliefs can bounce off one another. This is when we need to flip that mental pain into power and do our pleasurework when it comes to focusing on new sex-neutral, and/or positive beliefs. This takes time, energy, and effort. If you’ve experienced any of these symptoms or other ones I did not mention after masturbation, and this has been going on for years, it’s more than likely going to take years, multiple times a day, to reprogram and rewire your brain. Masturbation can be harmful if a person feels these things, it can also be harmful if you are doing partnered masturbation, and the other person does not consent. Respecting and honoring each other’s sexual boundaries is key.
I hope this blog helps you navigate masturbation, the myths, true facts, and helps you stay your shamelessly, sexy, authentic self! Share this blog with anyone you know who may be struggling with sexual beliefs.
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