The #1 Reason Couples Seek Sex Therapy | Sex Therapy Near Me
The #1 Reason Couples Seek Sex Therapy
Why do couples seek sex therapy the most in Minneapolis, MN?? It’s For Desire Discrepancies!! A lot of couples seek sex therapy in Minneapolis, MN specifically for this and don’t realize that their partner’s sexual libido is normal and so is their own. According to a research study done in the past two years on couples, sex, and sex therapy, the study found that 48.5% of couples seek sex therapy because at least one of the two partners experiences some form of sexual issues, such as low sexual frequency.
A lot of times, this is difficult to accept, and not many people understand how sex, sexuality, and one’s sexual libido can change over time. Sexuality is fluid and so is sexual libido, which ultimately will influence those in coupled relationships, or some people seek sex therapy to help with opening up a marriage because of desire discrepancies. If you’re curious about more sex therapy books and resources, check out my freebies page where I have them all linked for you :) Are these affiliate links? Yes. Is that an extra cost to you? No. What’s the purpose? To help support my sex therapy and sex coaching business grow boo! Now, let’s get to some common questions I get asked as a sex therapist and sexual wellness coach when it comes to desire discrepancies.
Is It Normal For Libido To Change?
Absolutely! Sexual libido can fluctuate for several various reasons. If we are around our partner(s) 24/7 due to COVID-19, it may be hard to experience higher levels of desire because there is no break or being away from one another. This could have also influenced sexual libido with the inability to get away, go on a vacation together, or a couple’s sex getaway. In general, sexual libido can fluctuate despite covid-19, due to several factors listed below.
What are some reasons one may experience a decrease in sexual libido or changes in sexual libido? Has COVID-19 impacted people's sexual libido?
There are many causes of low libido, such as experiencing mental health symptoms such as depression, anxiety, performance anxiety, low self esteem, body image concerns, interpersonal stressors of money, work stress, parenting, work-life balance, medical issues, family genetics, and desire can change over time. From what I have listened to, learned, and read, yes, the pandemic has changed men's and women’s sexual libidos. We are going through unprecedented times and may already be experiencing "COVID fatigue," with no variety throughout our days or weeks. Covid could also be an individual's experience of "Little t Trauma," meaning, an individual may be experiencing this as a distressing event that is non-life threatening, *meaning there is no exposure to witnessed or experience of a threatened death, serious injury/assault, or sexual violence, however, in many ways this can be threatening for folks who have tested positive for covid, lost a family member due to the virus, and other life stressors that could be taken into consideration over the last year. If our bodies are experiencing a trauma response or reaction, the likelihood of having a lower-than-normal libido only makes sense. If you’d like to read more about how COVID-19 changed people’s sexual libido, take a look at this article to learn more here.
How To Deal With Different Libidos In A Relationship
What advice as a sex therapist would you give a couple with mismatched libidos?
#1-Seek out a Sex Therapist in your area who has taken additional training, classes, and coursework, and can treat these concerns. For couples, this is an important avenue to meet with someone compassionate, understanding, and equipped to help with mismatched libidos and desire discrepancies. This sex therapist is going to be able to apply interventions, tools, and techniques, and give the couple several exercises to try outside of sessions. This is also a great way to have someone support the couple's needs and hold them accountable to goals of having a dialogue about pleasure, desire, communicating wants, and more!
#2-Practice your own solo sexual self care. No I don’t just mean masturbation, and yes do that too! How I define sexual self care is doing anything that helps increase pleasure, intimacy, desire, sensuality, sex, and sexuality. I have a whole entire sexual self care oracle card deck with 100+ cards if you need some ideas with examples. Also, tune into my sexual self care energy reads on YouTube & hit subscribe that I do for all 12 zodiac signs and what’s coming up in your sexual energy too! For your own personal recorded reading consultation with me, feel free to book at my website here.
#3-Schedule sex with your partner. Just do it! Sometimes people cringe when I give them this answer as a sex therapist and intimacy coach, and it’s worth it. You’ll have something to look forward to that week and it is important to put you and your partner’s on the calendar. Scheduling sex can help increase sexual libido, and accountability with partner(s), and increase overall desire.
#4-Learn how to shamelessly communicate and talk about sex with your partner(s). Shameless communication with sex is an important skill to master. Why? Because if you’re sexually shaming someone with your language, more than likely they’re not going to want to have sex with you. It’s not just communication and comprehension that are key, it’s clarification and implementation. You need to be able to ask your partner(s) about sex, redefine sex and what sex means to them, compromise, and understand their sexual worldview. Once you have this clarifying information regarding desire discrepancies and low libido in your relationship, you can then ask for feedback with solutions and take steps to implement this. We can communicate and comprehend all day, but it doesn’t mean shit if we’re not actually doing something about it!
What Tips Do You Have On How To Increase Libido?
Prioritize your sexual self care as much as you do your mental health, and physical health, sexual health matters! Think about your lifestyle, incorporate foods that increase blood flow in your daily meals. I'm not saying, no never eat a cheeseburger or your favorite pizza, because that is also an aphrodisiac for folks and can release dopamine chemicals in the brain when you are eating your favorite foods. However, it is when we eat too much unhealthy foods that it can slow down blood flow, increase fatigue, tiredness, bloating, which is why it is important to maintain a healthy balance. Of course, talk to your doctor about that and/or a nutritionist who can speak to your particular body more. Foods that can be incorporated to increase blood flow and libido are, spinach, peppers, garlic, nuts, fruits, berries, bananas, citrus fruits, avocado, oysters, certain meats like salmon, chicken, beef, pork, a glass of red wine, and dark chocolate, to name a few. Other ways you can boost your libido include, limit alcohol intake, reduce overall stress, make sure you get plenty of sleep, make sure the trust in your relationships are strong, keep communication open in your relationships, focus on emotional closeness with your partner(s), incorporate daily activities that boost self-confidence and self worth. Consult a doctor for medical concerns, and if it is related to mental health symptoms, seek care from a sex therapist.
Here's my best advice regarding sexual desire in a long-term relationship and desire discrepancies solutions!
Sex, our bodies, and our life changes. Once we accept that, we can then start refocusing back on sexual desire. We need to be gentle and patient with ourselves, especially if we're in a long-term relationship in a pandemic and know that sexual desire can be brought back. A suggestion is, slow down and focus on your body first before your partners, and ask yourself, do I even know what those turn-ons are anymore? Play with yourself, masturbate, do things that make you feel sexy and that way you'll be able to learn and then communicate this with your partner(s). A second suggestion is to have sexual conversations about types of turn-ons/offs that were at the beginning stages of your relationship. New relationship energy is a thing and it can be rekindled. If you don’t know what your turn ons and offs are, then consider using sexual astrology birth chart reading as a tool. This can help understand your sex astrology placements that are specific to you and understand what you need for your sexuality boo! Book a sexual astrology birth chart reading package here, I’d be happy to read for you and help! Lastly, put sex on the calendar. Include foreplay, sex, and aftercare. Make this an occasion you look forward to during the week and get excited about with your partner(s). When all else fails, see a sex therapist or intimacy coaching, we know our shit and this is our jam!
I hope this blog helped to answer your questions about why couples seek sex therapy near me, recognize that desire discrepancies and changes in sexual libido are normal and that sex therapy and intimacy coaching can help!
